


I've Been Living With Devils And Angels

by WisconsinMixer



Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 00:44:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3708867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WisconsinMixer/pseuds/WisconsinMixer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn walks home from his mom's house and is raped by Liam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Been Living With Devils And Angels

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Why Try by Ariana Grande

Zayn walked back home. His mom had offered him a ride but he had refused. He knew he could use the exercise and relaxation before bed. He lit a Marlboro and Kurt Cobain sang to him.  
"My favorite inside source  
I'll kiss your open sores  
Appreciate your concern  
You'll always stink and burn"  
He pulled over his hoodie in the chilly alley. He threw his cigarette on the sidewalk. The full moon reflected on the silver trash cans. He knew he shouldn't be out here at nearly midnight. He saw the headlights of a passing car. On Mondays no one partied. It should've made it less spooky but something deep inside him ached. His intestines knotted and his stomach lurched. He told himself to be brave and stop acting like a pussy.  
The exit was near. Four blocks from his house Zayn felt his left arm grabbed forcing his hand out of his pocket. A slap hit his face and knocked his glasses somewhere in the darkness. Everything happened in fast toward. Zayn's heartbeat quickened as his arms were held behind his back. Tears spilled down his cheeks. No matter how hard he struggled he was completely powerless against the much stronger monster behind him.  
Zayn screamed bloody murder. He wished it wasn't early Tuesday. No one would come to his rescue. He couldn't contemplate what could happen to him.  
A large hand covered his mouth. The man's body, hard and tense, pressed against his back. He talked with a deep rough voice, "No one will save you."  
Zayn bit his hand. The man yelped then forced his hand past Zayn's teeth. He choked and fell to the ground. Handcuffs were slipped onto his wrists. He whined. His vision turned blurry not just because his eyes were nowhere near 20/20. Red. Red. "Please don't," he begged.  
The man laughed.

Liam felt bad that day. Absolutely evil. It wasn't the first time he set out to make someone's life living hell. His whole life he had been a devil. He loved the idea of making someone feel as shitty as he had once felt. No longer the victim and no longer weak, he was in control. He wore his ski mask and his sickening smile until the obscurity enveloped him. He tingled to wreak havoc upon the world.

"Please don't." Zayn begged again, the man sat on his back, his breathing tight and congested. He couldn't believe what leaped out of his mouth. "I don't want to."  
"I'm gonna rape you." His sadism floated throughout both of their bodies. The man dragged out Zayn's torture and he seemed to enjoy the fear and sobbed vibrations beneath him.  
"P-p-p-p."  
Zayn closed his eyelids tightly. He wished to be back home with his mom and sisters. Laughing and eating the roast his mom had prepared that evening. Or spewing drunken shit with his mates. He'd even rather be ignoring the tedious lectures in the large halls.  
His jeans and underwear were shifted past his butt. He kicked and wiggled to no avail. "Stop it. Please."  
"Ooh. I like when you beg." He cackled.  
"Please don't."  
"It won't be rape if you consent."

It won't be rape if you consent? Liam asked himself. What the fuck's your problem? He pinned the boy harder on the ground. He couldn't show weakness now.

"Yeah. Yeah. Anything." Desperation.  
"OK. Come on." The man tugged Zayn. He wanted him to stand. Zayn obeyed, his legs wobbled. The man released his arms. He knew he could outrun Zayn if he tried to escape. Zayn wouldn't take his chances. He didn't want the man to be rougher. And he couldn't deal thinking about the possibility of murder. "Straight to that building."  
The man opened the door and turned on the lamp. In the room lay a small bed, its sheets stripped off. An obviously abandoned building. The man pushed Zayn on the mattress.  
"Hope you're comfortable."  
"Far from." Zayn scoffed.  
The slap delivered a warning. "Let's take a good look at ya."  
Flipped onto his back, Zayn finally saw his captor. He wore dark clothes and a mask. He planned this. Zayn realized. What kind of sick man could plan to do this to someone?

His prize radiated godlike beauty. He had to be a few years younger than Liam, probably in his early twenties. He had large brown eyes and a mess of raven hair. He traced his well defined cheekbones. "Have you never been fucked good and rough, boy?"

"N-n-no."  
"No what?"  
Zayn, unsure what he wanted to hear, said. "No sir."  
"Good. I like them virgins. Back on your tummy."  
Zayn submitted. The faster he went home the better. "P-p-please. Just f-fuck me already."  
Zayn heard the grin in his voice. "OK."  
"Why are you like this?"  
The man was taken aback. "What?"  
"You weren't always evil were you?" Zayn bit back the bile threatening to crawl up his throat. "Someone treated you like shit."  
The man punched him, Zayn saw it as a sign of losing grip over his kingdom.  
"You were once a scared little boy. An innocent little boy. You once trusted the world." Zayn's voice, hoarse from all the crying and swallowing vomit. "Someone hurt you. Hurt you so much you felt like hurting the world right back."  
"Listen to me, piece of shit." His hair pulled and his head yanked back. A knife drew blood from his throat. "You don't know nothing 'bout me. I wanna nice little submissive bitch. I always get what I want."  
Stupidity. "Lots of rapists were raped. A lot of 'bad' people aren't bad. My friend, Jade, murdered her boyfriend. He was an asshole. He abused her. She snapped one day. She doesn't deserve to be in jail."  
"What's your name kid?"  
"Z-z-z-z."  
"I'm Liam. Now shut up."  
With his hands bound he had no way to catch his fall when the man pushed him off the bed.  
"Get it through your head I don't give a fuck about you."  
"Liam, you're not a bad man."  
Before Liam slipped off Zayn's boxers and shoved them down his throat he heard Liam gasp. Zayn felt somewhat content knowing that he had hit the nail on the head.

A boy, not even 5 years old, woke up disorientated. His body ached. He saw his mother's new boyfriend in his car bed with him. He saw blood caked his pajama bottoms. Icy blue eyes opened. A joker smile spread from cheek to cheek. "Benadryl knocked you right out. Thought the first time would be better like that."  
Liam's future stepdad took him. He made him feel not only pain, but worthless and self loathing. Not only once or twice. He used him hundreds of times.  
When he turned 16 he had enough of it. He got his revenge with a gun. Then he fucked the corpse. He chopped the beast up and threw him in a river. The devil inside Liam enjoyed being bad. There was no longer a single glimpse of an angel inside of him. He ran away from his home in America. Now he tortured poor little English lads and lasses.  
So what was this dark boy saying? He was definitely not a good man. He was bad and he prided himself in that. And what was the tinge he felt deep in his spleen, deep in his soul? Guilt? Liam couldn't be guilty. He had left that in America. He was emotionless. He was strong. How could this motherfucker dig so deep in his heart and pull out the one thing he let no one know? And how come he cared instead of getting his dick wet?

Zayn's ass stuck in the air, naked. Silence for awhile. When he heard him unzip, Zayn freaked out. He wailed like a dying goose. Bound, gagged, and half blind. Liam rubbed himself. Liam sat on the bed circling Zayn's buttocks with his muddy Nikes. "You really are beautiful. You pro'ly get that e'ryday."  
Zayn panted. Sweat poured from his face. He heard rain pound on the roof. At least you're dry. He thought of the positives.  
Liam lifted him back on the bed. Zayn noticed the man had taken his mask off. His face covered in week old scruff and eyes a shade darker than his own. He was attractive. Zayn knew he would've had a crush on him if the man wasn't a psychopath. Zayn squirmed at the ken of Liam's cock. Both thick and long. "Hope those are happy tears."  
Zayn couldn't move, all of his energy used up. He wanted to go back to his dorm.  
"If I remove your gag you'll suck me off. No teeth. Or else."  
Zayn nodded wildly. The boxers suffocated him. He needed air. He breathed in for a few glorious seconds before Liam placed his cock down Zayn's throat. He didn't want a blowjob. Liam face fucked him. In and out his large cock went. The balls slapped his chin. Zayn could take it. Liam could have none of that. "You're too good at that. Gotta expose your weaknesses."  
He held Zayn down on the base of his cock. Zayn bobbed his head away. A slap burned Zayn's face. He kept his head where Liam wanted. He ignored the gagging and gurgling. A mixture of spit and puke burst from him. Liam didn't yell or beat him. His grin, turned on, let out short giggles. He allowed Zayn some rest.

Bliss. Bliss. Bliss

Red. Everything became red. He couldn't move on. He couldn't die here. Not with so much left undone and unseen. 21 years down the drain.  
Loud. His heart throbbed like the thunderstorm. Liam's groans echoed off the white walls.  
Bitter. His tongue still tasted of Liam. Vomit. Pity.  
Torment. Throughout his being. All inflicted upon him by one person. The feeling of misery.  
Piss. The room smelled of sour piss. All of his senses heightened. He also strongly smelled Liam's manliness and sex.  
Zayn blacked out.

He fell away from Liam. "Get up, fucking bitch!" Liam shouted. He looked at the boy's face. Eyes closed. Face frowned. Unconscious? That's a first. He looked at his watch. 2:04 am. There might be someone nearby. Soon. He had to finish what he started.

Zayn awoke at the first thrust. His asshole was on fire. He forgot what happened. He only felt immense pain and discomfort. "Fuck fuck fuck! Fuck!"  
"Ah. There's ma suga plum. Back from da dead." Liam slurred.  
No rest this time, Liam fucked him with vigor- moaning obscenely.  
Zayn's insides- fucked raw. His mind teetered between physical pain and the emotional roller coaster. Hot. The room blazed at 100 degrees. He knew he'd pass out if he didn't quench his throat's dryness with a bottle of Aquafina. Allah. Save me now.  
Liam pulled out. Zayn silently rejoiced, thinking the agony would end. "Wow. You're so bloody. Disgusting."

Bloody pjs. Shame. Liam never felt like this before. His childhood abuse relived through his deranged pleasure. He thrust back into the bloody tunnel. "It's all your fault. You got whatcha got coming to you. If you weren't such a retard... If you didn't disobey your mama. If you didn't talk back in class. If you didn't sleep at church. If you didn't do half the shit you did, Liam."

Liam? This man's definitely crazy. Insane asylum crazy. He should be locked away for life. Away where no one will ever be punished by him again.  
"It's alright, Liam." Zayn soothed. Tears, mumbled words, and sloppy thrusts. All from Liam. Zayn couldn't believe what he said. He guessed if the man calmed down it might be over sooner. Deep inside he felt a little sad for Liam. Sure, he was a serial rapist and perhaps killer. But Zayn had a larger heart than most. He knew Liam had been pushed past his breaking point. Most likely at a young age. He knew Liam wasn't born evil, nurtured into the devil before him. "It's OK, Liam."  
A hand marked his face. The thanks Zayn got for partially forgiving Liam's actions.

The kid confused Liam. Liam didn't like to feel dumb. He needed all the power he could muster. He quickened his hips, digging his nails into Zayn's soft plushy ass. His orgasm neared. He would not let Zayn lead him down Guilt Avenue or his dead step father degrade him again. His brown eyes closed with pleasure and domination. Liam liked being a devil.

Worn out. The sticky hot cum filled Zayn up. He didn't notice. So many miserable sensations already invaded him. Liam removed his cock- giggling when Zayn lay down in his own blood and sweat. "I have one last favor I ask of you."  
Zayn sighed. He wanted to curl up in his bed and sleep his life away. He no longer cared if Liam put him out of his misery. He had been in hell on earth.  
"Suck off your fucking disgustingness, pig."  
Zayn opened his mouth. He wanted to bite the penis off. The metallic taste made him wince. Nothing made him wince more than the fact he was taken against his own will. The fact thousands of people took away not only innocence but also lives. In the couple hours with Liam he had been dehumanized. He knew he'd never be the same.  
He imagined doodling again. They wouldn't be the same happy carefree cartoons. Sadness would plague them.  
He heard of rape statistics. Many victims never tell. Introverted and ashamed he thought he wouldn't. He'd tell his mom some bullshit excuse why he didn't call her.  
"Thanks for consenting Z-z-z-z." Liam unlocked the cuffs.  
Consent. He said he'd do anything to spare his life. That wasn't consent. Liam didn't need consent. He preyed on the weak. If he got consent he wouldn't want to fuck them. Zayn balled up his fists. He wanted to punch the bastard who raped him. Even more he wanted to punch himself. If he had listened to his mom and let her drive him home he would've been safe at home sleeping. Would've. Could've. Should've.  
Liam chuckled as Zayn relaxed his fists. Zayn spoke uneasily, "you're the coward."  
"No, love."  
"Anyone can act big and tough and 'manly'. You gotta stop running away from your fears. Gotta see a therapist because you are fucking not right in the head." Faintness surrounded Zayn.  
Liam cackled. "I like you. You're sassy."  
Zayn didn't feel sassy. His head ached like he drank too many pints at the pub. Lightheaded. All the blood lost. All the pain inflicted upon him. Close to blackout. "Just know I forgive you. Lee-yum. Not because I'm a good person. Definitely not because you're a good person. It's the right thing to do."  
Liam couldn't fathom Zayn. 

His victim lay there. Either passed out or dead. Just know I forgive you. Humph. A spectacle to see. A 20 something year old who lost his will to live. Liam saw it before. Many times. This time being different. He forgave him for an unforgivable act.  
When Liam squinted he made out a halo above his head. This boy was angelic. Karen Payne always said he had an imaginative mind. His mother never knew he actually saw things. What his mother didn't know didn't kill him. Liam took the blue checkered boxers as his token. 5:36 am. Time for him to plan his next attack. He placed two fingers in the pool beneath the dark lad's legs. He smeared the gore on his lips. Wine red lipstick. Blood red. He kissed the forehead. His last trace upon him. Ownership. He knew from experience his angel would replay this memory. Hoped whenever he looked in the mirror he saw the kiss reflected.  
So many emotions overcame him. Leaving the boy seemed wrong. He opened the door. The rain had subsided to a drizzle. Cars and busses scattered the street. People traveling to work. Unsuspecting of the horrors that took place hours earlier. His sins bothered him. He realized the boy was correct. Way beneath his demonic exterior remained an angel. An angel that his stepdad covered. His heinous crimes of rape and murder clipped the angel's wings. A possibility of an angel the young Pakistani uncaged.  
He would not act on the angel's request. The devil wanted to get laid. The devil always got what he wanted.

Zayn thought death overthrew him. His mind murky, he tried to sit up. It hurt too much. He lay back down. Unsure of the time he drifted off again.

He shamefully walked the last four blocks to his dorm. The sun shone bright overhead, perhaps noon. Once he threw his dirty clothes in the bin he slipped on sweat pants. 1:25 pm. Not even 24 hours after. He cried. Cried for hours on end. Vowed to never do anything bad again. Promised to never take anything for granted. Prayed for Liam to stop raping innocent bystanders.  
His life could never be the same. Flipped over in less than a day. The physical pain would vanish, but the emotional would linger on. He would meet Angels and he would meet Devils. He couldn't let those different people have an effect on him. No matter how much shit people shoveled his way he could always be stronger. Even Liam had both Angels and Devils arguing over him.  
Zayn fell into heavenly dreams after a hellish day.


End file.
